WORDS TO REMOVE FROM THE NEURO-TYPICAL/AUTISTIC LEXICON.
As you know, many of us in the autistic community wish to be referred to as "autistics" not "people with autism." The connotation is that the autism can be separated from the person, and to us, autistic is our identity. We do NOT view it as a negative, rather, as a positive.
As you also know, the word "normal" is one that we find abhorrent, as it suggest that we deviate from what is considered the "norm". And the norm is subjective, depending upon where in the world you are and what in the world you're doing. For example, in Japan it is against social rules to blow one's nose in public, and people carry small packets of tissues not for blowing their noses but in case they need to use a public toilet for a big job. In Japan, toilets are for squatting over for this purpose, as it is dirty to place one's nether regions on that surface and it is considered dirty to put one's hand on a toilet roll where another has been. Just like you are handed change in a small tray as it is considered dirty to pass cash from hand to hand. None of this, however, applies to Australia, the UK or the USA.
Another word that I find offensive, and was cause for a blow-up between my mother and I is "proper." I know the word can be used when distinguishing common nouns from proper nouns (for example, a car is a common noun, a Toyota is a proper noun, hence the capital, or, "I went to see the doctor," or, "I went and saw Doctor Ong.") This is not the case I'm talking about. My mother, last night, in a gross act of undiplomatic behaviour, said, "You have to eat at a proper time." Now, I know some people eat by the clock and say, "It's five o'clock, so it's time for tea." While many of us autistics like routine, just as much as anybody else, our clock for when it's time to eat is protected by skin and has floating ribs either side. If it is hot, we may not want to eat until later, if it is cold, we may want to eat earlier.
A "proper" time to me has the neuro-typical connotation. With my food, I follow a select diet due to medical necessity, for example gluten free and Low FODMAP, but that is not the case for others. Also, I tend to prefer the heavier meals like they have in the UK, with the addition of some Eastern spices. My default meal is four sausages, five sliced potatoes and a bag of carrot, cauliflower and broccoli, yet my mother would say that's not a proper meal. Sometimes, I have a gluten free barbecue chicken, and twice a week I have turkey mince and pasta, which my sister-in-law describes as "real bachelor food." Well, I am a cat loving bachelor, so I'll take that as a compliment.
Neuro-typical folks tend to see autism as a negative, without understanding that many of us have strengths which they do not. To me, any talk of trying to make autistic people "normal" has connotations of the master race theory espoused by Alfred Rosenburg and Adolf Hitler and the eugenics practised in Australia towards the First Nations Peoples. Also, the word proper has the connotation that neuro-typical behaviour is superior and that all autistics should aspire to it.
If Sir Bob Geldof is viewed with awe by republicans for turning up unshaven and unkempt to receive his knighthood from the Queen, the time has come for the neuro-typical folks to view us the same way and say, "They may not follow our social conventions but they have their own. And only the most devout of monarchists would condemn Sir Bob Geldof's lack of convention, and I don't know if he's autistic or not."