When my father was a confectionary van salesman, he knew a man who drove a cigarette van for the cigarette distribution arm of the company. The man was Maltese. One day, my father saw him and he looked unhappy and Dad asked why. The Maltese man responded, "That woman in that shop told me that she doesn't want her cigarettes delivered by a d**o." Dad said, "Well, if she won't accept cigarette deliveries from you, I won't call on her shop."

Another shopkeeper, a Greek-Cypriot, had a customer come in and racially abuse him. The shopkeeper was listening to the races on the radio. The shopkeeper came across and said, "I'm sorry. I'm not deaf. You want a hamburger?" "Yeah." "Okay, you come back in ten minutes and I'll make you the best hamburger you've ever had." The shopkeeper walked outside and scraped up a fresh dog dropping from out of the gutter on a spatula, and put it on the hamburger. Then, when the man came back, he said, "There you are. No charge. But don't tell anyone else or they'll want a free hamburger, too." Dad said, "He'll come back, you know." The shopkeeper said, "I hope he does."