What I can see with the kidney stone incident is, your partner thought he was being nice to you, but what wasn't being communicated is, "Look, these sights are all very nice, but I don't to see them now. What I need is for you to take me to hospital so we can find out why I'm in so much pain." Even without words, the fact that you could only lie on the bench, presumably holding your side or stomach, should have gotten that message across.

What he also ignored is, "Yes, he may have been depressed and the sights may have cheered HIM up, but not you."

I have to admit that if I had a girlfriend, and we broke up, I would want to return her belongings to her in a civilized manner. I lived with an ex-girlfriend, and she, when I asked for some things to be returned, couldn't be reasonable and say, "Okay, here's what we'll do. I don't particularly want to talk face to face, BUT, I'll get your things together and put them in a laundry basket. You come over at 4:30pm, today, and you park around the corner at say, 4:20pm, and at about 4:25pm, I'll walk out the front and put the basket of things just inside the fence, and go back inside, then, you can come by at 4:30, and pick them up." Easy as that.

I think the problem isn't men but the patriarchy.