Rape has been defined as carnal knowledge without consent.

I remember, when I was in Year Eleven, my Human Relationship Education teacher told us about some ways that a woman can rebuff sexual advances, including that she's on her period, and one, that really stood out for me, as a relatively sheltered teenager was, "No, but I don't mind if you go and masturbate."

Four years earlier, a kid I went to school with asked me if I masturbated. I thought, in my naivete, that it was something that chooks did! I went home and told my mother, and she said, "I hope you don't." And I said, "Well, I don't know what it means, so I don't know if I do it." She told me it means, "Play with yourself to make your, ahem, go hard." And I said, "Well, no I don't."

I don't deny that there is a sexual element to rape. I know The Bill wasn't real, but I remember an episode from 1997, where a man was arrested on suspicion of rape and he was more of a sad but deluded man, who believed that he had made love to a woman, when he had raped her. I remember another episode, when they were trying to catch a serial rapist, and a man they interviewed on suspicion of rape claimed that you couldn't rape a prostitute. Well, you can. If you attend a bordello, in my state in Australia (I haven't, but you don't have to have to know this), if you attend a legal bordello, the sex worker will ask you to open your mouth to check for ulcers or other sores and check your genitalia. The sex worker must, a) consent to sex with you, and b) consent to what you want. The sex worker can decline a service and if you become violent, security will be called, as may the police.

The rapist gets off on sexual power over another person. They are not seeking consensual sex for pleasure.