One of the reasons why I never took up smoking was that I saw my grandfather, from when I was four until I was eighteen, die from smoking related disease. He saw a vascular surgeon who told him that he didn't need an operation, but he could quit smoking and take up walking, his circulation would improve. He opted for bypass surgery in his left leg, and then, in his right leg. He developed gangrene in the latter, and it had to be amputated. He then developed emphysema and had minor heart attacks. When I was five, my grandmother was very worried about him, and I had to be her special little man for her. I remember I slept in her bed with her the night he went into hospital.

I remember, early in June, 1980, my brother were sharing a bedroom, and it was a Friday, and my mother was trying to get my brother to go to sleep (he was two) but he wouldn't, she even said to me, "I'm going out. Your brother's just naughty." He then got out and crawled around on my bed. I then went into my grandmother's bed.

I remember my grandfather telling me (I used to help him make his cigarettes. He would buy the paper and it had filters attached, and I used to help him after he'd pushed the tobacco in, by putting them into a large Tupperware container) that he wasn't going to smoke anymore, but I caught him smoking.

One thing that I cannot understand with X is, how did he reach the conclusion that he wasn't cheating by taking his wedding ring off when he was drinking? Wedding ring or not, he was still married to you! It's only when you receive your divorce papers that you're not married!

I say, though, if a person wants to quit drinking or smoking, there's only one person they can do it for, and that's themselves.