Okay, bleak though the reality you've described is, you didn't know he was autistic when you married him and neither did he.

I say, if I wanted a girlfriend, she would have to be autistic, as I am, and she would need to understand my need for space and the like.

Yes, there would be intimacy, if I had a girlfriend, but, our intimacy would have to be compatible. I wouldn't want sex before sleep, but also, she would need to find the same things arousing that I did. For example, I don't find breasts, legs or bottoms particularly arousing (breasts are there, bottoms are for sitting on and legs are for walking). If she liked having her belly rubbed and kissed, well, great.