IT SHOULDN"T HAVE TO COME TO THIS.

Those who have read Hamlet might remember Polonius, the father of Laertes, when asked if he would allow him to return to Paris, by King Claudius, "He hath, My Lord, wrung from me my slow leave. My laboursome petition and at last, upon his will I sealed my hard consent. I do beseech you, give him leave to go." To put the Old Bard's words into a modern context, "He pestered me for ages for me to let him go to Paris and finally, I said, "Yes." So let him go."

Those of you who've followed my stories may be aware that my relationship with my mother is not quite as difficult as Hamlet's relationship with his uncle (Prince Hamlet suspected his uncle, Claudius, of poisoning his father, King Hamlet, to marry Hamlet's mother and become King, himself) and Hamlet, despite his love for Ophelia, has an Oedipal relationship with his mother, Gertrude. Having said that, though, my mother did not do anything as drastic as King Claudius.

There is no recorded dialogue of Laertes and Polonius talking of the former going to Paris, but, it has been extremely difficult for my mother to admit that she is an autism Mum. Her rationale behind it, which I can sort of understand, is that she didn't want me to be "labelled" or held back. And she and I have had some difficult times over this.

Having spent four years as a patient at a day infusion centre, I have seen that people's attitudes towards having a condition requiring treatment are as individual as we are. I saw one woman, who has only recently been diagnosed with another condition that I have, who gets frustrated, whereas I say, "I've got it, I live with it, I'm in the routine of having treatment every three weeks and so be it." The one type of treatment that some people opt for, a stem cell treatment, something I wouldn't do lest it mess with my autism and knowing that it's fraught with danger as you have a massive chemotherapy regimen beforehand, then you have cells returned and the treatment that I currently have, which is also used for people lacking an immune system, suits me better, as following a stem cell transplant, a cold, flu or gastro bug can overwhelm your immune system. Medical specialists even say that it is not for the faint-hearted.

My approach to being diagnosed with autism is to finally understand why I'm different and that it's okay to be different. I view ABA as being as harmful to an autistic person as gay conversion therapy is to an LGBTIQA person, autistic as well or not. I also say that those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter. If anything, a regular regime can be just something an autistic person incorporates like we do any other.

I say, also, just like football fans find other fans, and they may have club loyalty, or car fans find others and have brand loyalty, autistic people find others.

My sister-in-law had a fairly emotional conversation with my mother the other day, and told her that I was a walking textbook case of autism with quirkiness and all. She could see the damage that my mother's denial was doing to our relationship.

My mother has, at times, made the statement that kids can grow out of autism. No, they can't. There have been cases of kids who've grown out of asthma, but all this means is that they don't have any more attacks. Some of this should not be confused with better management and avoidance of triggers and it is important to note that some asthmatics, not all, may not have anymore attacks by their teenage years (some people may not have asthma as children, but may contract it in puberty) yet may revert to it in their forties. Asthma, though, must not be confused with the COPD that some former smokers may contract, one is stable and constant and one fluctuates.

Also, my mother made the ill-informed statement that someone on TV said that ISIS fighters were autistic. Well, no. Yes, many ISIS fighters may be committed, and autistic people are more vulnerable to being preyed upon (I know, I have been) but ISIS recruiters DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT, infiltrate autism support groups looking for fighters, and if you didn't seem to have a background conducive to their cause, you would be viewed by senior ISIS figures with suspicion, rather than cordiality.

I have known people who are LGBTIQA who have been thrown out of the family home for coming out, and have had to create a façade, later on, if they've needed to go back to their parents for help. The façade, in some cases including heterosexual relationships, has caused severe mental health problems.

If we take Sir Elton John, or Elton as he was known, as an example, he wasn't ready to come out to the world at the time he married his Australian female bride, but did so after divorcing her. I do not believe that an autistic person should be forced to come out, if they don't want to.

It does sadden me, though, that it took my sister-in-law to talk to my mother, to get her to see it. That is not to say that I want her to introduce me to everyone as autistic, rather that she lets me do it and not have any shame in it. And to finally see that those of us who do not want to be cured are not selfish, rather we are exercising our freedom of choice. I mean, I have a friend whose mother died of cancer, and she said that if she got cancer, she wouldn't want to have chemotherapy. Is that selfish? Well, some may say that if it gave her a chance, and she had a good prognosis, but I say, if she's seen someone go through losing their hair, vomiting, feeling terribly nauseous and dying painfully, that's her choice. I do, however, believe when religious arguments are put forward against something, that if your religion doesn't allow YOU to do it, that's your choice and should be respected, however, if you believe that someone else should be denied the right to do it, then THAT is selfish. A classic case being the Same-Sex Marriage debate in Australia, with a former joke of a leader advancing religious arguments against it. If he'd said that he didn't want to attend one, even if his sister is LGBTIQA, okay, but when he used religious arguments to deny others the right, that's not okay!

I remember a debate between an Australian bioethicist and a Hollywood actor over stem cells, and I say, Yes, it is important to separate the hype from the fact, BUT, if the bioethicist, despite his condition, said he didn't want to benefit for himself, well, that's his prerogative, but not to deny others.

If my mother had said, "Okay, I accept that YOU and your friends don't want to ever see a cure for autism, and I would still argue for your rights to quiet spaces and whatever else you want, and I would support your right NOT to allow the biochemist in Western Australia to have your phenome type, as long as you, in turn, respect others' rights to support it, then that's fine." I would have thought far more of her than if she had said, "Well, that's very selfish if you would oppose that even if there was a cure available and others benefitted."

My mother should not have had to be a more laconic Polonius, but at the same time, she should have been more willing to listen to Tony Attwood's videos and that without needing my sister-in-law's intervention.