I remember, when I was in Year Twelve, in Human Relationships Education, we were asked about the attributes we wanted in a partner. There were two Vietnamese hearing-impaired guys in the class, who said that they wanted someone who could cook and somebody Vietnamese. The teacher then said that her niece was going to be marrying a Greek man and there was talk of cultural expectations.

A neurotypical who enters into a relationship with an autistic person, even if both are of the same ethnicity and country, is entering into a cross-cultural relationship. It is the equivalent of a European who marries an Asian whom they met in Asia. Cultural expectations are different, with more emphasis upon familial roles in Asian countries. So, a European man with an Asian wife may find that his wife's parents expect to live with them in older age.

I had a relationship with a neurotypical woman, many years ago, and it was a total disaster. Yes, she was the wrong woman, and her priorities were wrong, BUT she wanted to live a life of indolent ease, of going to the gym every day and having coffee with so and so and was amazed that I didn't approve of traditional gender roles.

A neurotypical woman with an autistic man who has some semblance of the gender roles might report that she goes out to the lounge room on Valentine's Day to find not a gold ring but a new vacuum cleaner because the old one broke down. Or, he might spend half the night researching the make of car she wanted to buy and give her a rundown on its pros and cons. And many an autistic person will want a present that they need rather than what they want. I remember, when I was nine, I got heaps of clothes for my birthday, and I asked my mother why and she said, "Because you needed them."

I remember listening to a radio program where a female announcer said that her husband couldn't understand why she was devastated when her bikini was damaged in the washing machine, and her husband replied, "But it's only a bikini." To her, however, it meant something. If a neurotypical woman dated me, she would probably say, "Well, they have to have something Japanese on them at all times. I don't understand why." It's a safety thing.

If I wanted to date, I would probably want to consider an autistic woman who is possibly bisexual. My rationale for that is, I know that being bisexual is NOT like a person in my native Australia who had the choice of a Commodore or a Falcon for their company car, and whose history you could examine and say, "Yes, they've been 70-30 in favour of Falcon," or vice versa, but because I would hope that a bisexual woman might think that if she has a non-binary autistic partner, who doesn't follow gender roles and expectations, it could be a bit more equitable.