I remember reading an article about a woman who got married in 1986, to a man, and she had to go interstate for something, and when her husband collected her from the airport, she noticed a packet of condoms in the boot of the car. She thought this odd, but as it was a company car, he said that it must have been an employee to whom he lent the car. She took it at face value. Their daughter was born the following year, and, in 1996, she had to go interstate again, and when she returned, she noticed that there were $3000 worth of phone calls to gay chatlines, which he said must have been in error. She contacted the phone company a few days later, only to be told that it had been paid with her husband's work credit card. She confronted him, and he finally confessed.

As the woman said, if he had left her for another woman, she would have had someone to compare herself to, but she felt that she didn't know him at all.

What needs to be remembered is the era and the context. A person raised in a religious household can find that they need to mask their true selves.

I'm not saying that you don't have the right to feel betrayed. What I'm saying is, it takes strength to have the compassion for a partner in such circumstances.