I remember, in the late 1990s, seeing funeral notices (I didn't avidly read them to see who had died, but they were on the page opposite the international weather forecasts, and I used to read that to see the weather in Europe and Asia) that went, for example, "Smith, Fred, aged 54, Dearly loved Father of Jennifer, Michael and Mary, Loved Partner of Joe Bloggs, (and sometimes, loved and remembered friend of Patricia)." What I surmised from such notices was Fred Smith tried to live a heteronormative life and married Patricia and had three kids, but when he could suppress it no longer, he engaged with men.

I remember reading a story about a woman who married in the 1980s and she had gone interstate for a funeral, in 1986, and was surprised, when taking her bag out of the boot, to find a packet of condoms, with one missing. (She was on the Pill). Her husband said that it was someone who'd been in the car, or someone he'd lent the car to. She believed him. They had two daughters, and then, in 1996, she had been interstate, again, and the phone bill arrived with $3000 worth of calls to a gay chat line. Her husband said that it was a mistake and when she rang Telstra, the next day, they said the bill had been paid with her husband's work credit card. He then broke down and confessed that he was gay.

I suspect the reason that many gay people have substance abuse issues is because of societal attitudes towards homosexuality. It is not uncommon, tragically, for gay people to fear rejection by their parents, which takes them on such a trajectory.

With societal attitudes towards marriage equality and the removal of homosexuality from the DSM, one can only hope that health outcomes will improve.

I mean, within my tribe (autistic) there is a large number of LGBTIQA people. Yes, you can be autistic and not LGBTIQA, and you can be LGBTIQA and not autistic and you can be LGBTIQA and autistic and neither, but our life expectancy is lower and suicide has a role to play in this.

Each gay person I see living into old age I also see as a triumph.