I remember, in 1998, a man who had been a POW in Europe wanted to hold an ex-POW's conventional at a golf club owned by a Japanese company. This was much to the anger and consternation of a former POW of the Japanese, who claimed that if ever he heard a Japanese voice, it caused him alarm. I know that some ex-POWs went to the grave still hating their former captors, some might have accepted German or Japanese products but not welcomed the people, and some checked their enmity out when they walked through the gates of the camp or not long after. As much as I could understand the feelings of the former POW of the Japanese, what I think he needed to remember was, Japanese golfers might come in, and they aren't interested in a group of ex-POWs, they want to have a game of golf. The drink waiter might be Japanese, and the worst they might do is spill a bit of your drink. The drink waiter won't hit you over the head with their tray!

I am a sex abuse survivor and a gender non-conforming trans-femme, and as a result, I feel more comfortable with women. My gastroenterologist, who admitted me, had briefed the staff, and I had a female anaesthetist and a team of female nurses. Okay, as my gastroenterologist has admitting rights in that hospital, but she wasn't on duty that day, the nurse asked me if I was happy for a doctor to admit me, and all I asked was that the nurse stay with me if the doctor was male and that the doctor not touch me. The only males I had anything to do with were, a) an orderly who gave me a ride in the wheelchair from my room to the theatre and the server who brought me my meal after my operation. I say, there's a world of difference between what I requested and what Teresa did, and my tone was far more friendly.

I had the misfortune of being assaulted, technically, by a male doctor (a non-consensual prostate exam) and when I told another doctor, they said, "I'm not defending him, but what some doctors forget is, they can become desensitised, and what, to them, is a routine part of their day, can be traumatic to someone who has been abused." I said that the correct procedure, in my view, is, you don't go like the ridiculous doctor, who said, "Right, the glands first." (I know they're lymph nodes) And then hold a tongue depressor and an otoscope and say, like they're speaking to a three-year old, "Just open up your mouth and I'll have a little look down your throat." A then 22-year-old KNOWS that and, "Could you just open up for me, please?" would suffice. You say, "I need to have a look at your prostate, which could be impeding the flow of your urine, and that will involve me inserting a finger into your rectum. It's a bit uncomfortable, but if you want me to stop, I will. Do you consent?"

To analyse and critically compare my experience with Teresa's demands, it's perfectly understandable and if communicated diplomatically, that a woman, or a male or non-binary patient who is a sex abuse survivor, finds being touched by a male triggering, as it is for me and requests females, BUT I was okay with a male bringing me my dinner and my breakfast, as all he would do was come in, say hello, lay the tray on the table, and leave the room, and then, about half an hour later, he came back to collect it.

The entire tone of Teresa's letter is transphobic and disgusting. I think of transwomen and transmen like this. My father knew a man who'd survived the Rape of Nanjing, who'd come over to Australia at the height of a racially exclusive immigration policy, who later married an Englishwoman. He used to say to my father, despite his strong Chinese accent, "I'm an Aussie!" So, just like he shouldn't have had to have justified his existence, nor should a transwoman. Once I transition, I don't want to have to say to people, I'm a woman! I'm a non-binary!

Furthermore, Teresa says that her views are worthy of respect, but aren't other people's wishes worthy of respect, too?

Okay, I can offer some mild agreement with the actions of the staff member, in that I remember going to a doctor and there was another doctor, who'd come out to receive his patient or talk to the receptionist, and he'd talk to other patients. I didn't like that, and I think somebody should have taken him aside and said, "Okay, I know you might mean well, and yes, if the receptionist is on the phone to a patient and another patient is waiting, you can nod and say, "The receptionist will be with you soon," but if the patient is not there to see you, don't speak to them, otherwise." In Teresa's case, yes, it is polite, if you knock on a closed door to wait until you are invited to enter before opening the door. And yes, it's polite to say excuse me to the patient and the staff member, but that does NOT excuse the transphobia.

Yes, Teresa is entitled to have her wishes respected, however, she should also respect those who are in a position to care for her.