I have had periods of not caring. Now, I have a philosophy which is, I had 35 years of not knowing, 12 years of embracing and I want another 48 years minimum of positive autistic and transgender living ahead of me. I have been determined to make it past 92 since I was 32 (I remember turning on the TV to watch the news and seeing that Paul Tibbetts had died, aged 92, and I thought, for someone as heartless as him, even if he had heart problems, to have lived so long, I want to outlive him. Some might say I have, but I want to outlive him not as in being alive while he's dead but being older when I die than he was). I plan, next year, when my parents go away for a holiday for a week, to have my first experience wearing women's clothes at home.