I am on a transition journey, and as I reflect on my relationship with my long-ago very much ex-girlfriend, I realize something. She initiated sex, and I was okay with it, but one thing that set me apart from the other guys that she'd been in relationships with was, I didn't want the pleasure all in my penis, I wanted her to appreciate my body in the way I did hers. One other thing I remember is, and I know she said this to be nasty, I have an unusual inflection which my father used to pull me up on, and a friend of my brother's friends thought I was gay, but my ex told me that I sounded like Ru Paul. That helped me to see that I was not a cisgender male.

As much as my long-ago ex was cruel, she also gave me the insight that being a heterosexual cis male wasn't who I am.