FAMILY DYNAMICS
I was talking to my sister-in-law on Christmas Day and said to her that I hoped my brother didn’t resent the fact that I have a closer relationship with my nephew and niece than I did with him growing up. The reason why I have a closer relationship with them is that they are indoor kids and they’re happy to sit on the lounge and play with their iPads or play with their Lego or their dolls, whereas my brother always wanted to be running around outdoors.
I even remember a day when I was nearly 15, and I had to stay home with my brother because my parents had to go to my father’s manager’s housewarming party. It was a hot day, and I was not in the mood for running around, but my brother wanted to play cricket outside and my mother said that I wasn’t allowed to read a book during the day. This was despite me needing to be on a course of acne medication which made my skin sensitive to sunburn. My father even said, “Do some exercise,” which was unfair.
The week before, the troublesome colleague and her husband were coming over and my father told me not to tell her that I was taking medication. He said that she’d ask, “And what sort of tablets are you taking?” and my brother said, “Peter will just say that he can’t play cricket and that my brother knows why.” I thought, “Why not say to my brother, “Look, Peter can’t run around in the hot sun with you while on this medication. So, please don’t ask him to.”” Or would that have been too logical? My brother was pesky, but he wasn’t THAT stupid!
The fact that my niece and nephew are more indoor kids than my brother was means that I can have an easier relationship with them than I could with him. My nephew is into Minecraft, which is autistic heaven, so that’s a good mix. My sister-in-law won’t hear of the possibility that my nephew might be autistic despite some definite traits.
Two people can be born to the same parents and be as different as strangers. In my native Australia, there was a police officer and a civil liberties lawyer who were brothers; a Liberal Party politician and a Baptist Minister and champion of the poor; and numerous others. I guess my brother and I are like that, even if he was the more dominant one despite being three years younger.