A LETTER TO MY 18-YEAR-OLD SELF.

Dear Peter,

Well, you’ve achieved what you wanted to achieve, you got into university, where you can pursue your special interest in Japanese, but right now, you’re facing two challenges. One, you have to do a subject that you find incredibly boring. You have to read Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and as you didn’t read Dracula comics as a kid, you find this task about as enjoyable as cleaning mud off boots. The second challenge is that you have to write an autobiography, but what you need in order to be able to write it is a lens through which to view your life. That lens is autism. You are living a life where you feel you belong, but you don’t.

When you’re 49, you’ll see a video that your friend has made about overcompensating, and it’s something that could almost be your autobiography. You have been ridiculed by the people with whom you grew up, and you feel that you belong in the Asian community. Well, some members of the Asian community will accept you, but one thing you need to learn is when is it time to cut your losses. Most of what you have seen about love and personal relationships is from TV, but that follows a storyline. If you’re putting more into a relationship than you’re getting in return, it’s time to cut your losses and think of it as being like the one horoscope prediction that came true. When you are 19, you’ll see that for your star sign, you’ll get a new car saying a reluctant good-bye to the old one. You love the car that you’ve got now, but it’s got a lot of rust in it and the engine needs thousands spent on it to get it up to standard. You’ll see that car later and be surprised it’s still going. What you’re pursuing with people will come to an end.

Don’t be pragmatic, just make sure that you get your needs met.

Your paternal grandfather, you’ll realise, should have said autistic, when he talked of a partner for you. You’ll have a better relationship with an autistic woman.

Love Peter.